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Category: Uncategorized

  • What is the point?

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    I sit here on a Friday afternoon. I am home. I have been home for two weeks now on break from my job as a preschool teacher. When I go back, it will be a shit show. Two children leaving this month and a placemat needed for both of them. Pressure to get all things […]

  • Ton of bricks

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    The term, “ton of bricks,” came to mind as I thought about a title for this mornings blog. I feel like I have been hit by just that. Healing is hard. Healing takes time. You just never know when and how it will hit you. Much like a ton of bricks. I feel like I […]

  • Diagnosis

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    Six years ago this month I was diagnosed with Chiari 1 malformation. I sat in this realization yesterday while I waited in the same parking lot to see the neurologist that would deliver the news. It was news about why I was having headaches all the time. It was news and an explanation as the […]

  • Leaving behind

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    It is early evening on a Wednesday. I am on break from my work until next Monday. I have had a lot of time to think and rest and recoup from the last few months. I was supposed to drive to another state during this time but my physical body made me stay put and […]

  • Courage

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    It is said that sometimes courage can skip a generation. I think about this when I spend time with my daughter today. She encouraged me to tackle something that was scary to me. Granted it, it was a hill and I was on skates. But then she shared with me that years ago she was […]

  • Emotions

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    For some reason, I feel like I have written about emotions before, not sure if the title was the same though. So here I go. Last night was not a good sleeping night. I was woken several times by my dog leaning against my body and the pressure hurting me. The pain woke me up. […]

  • Disrespectful roommate

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    Today is a Saturday. It is only a little after 9 and I have been up for hours. I have taken my dog for a long walk and am back. Prisoner in my own room. Curtains drawn as the landlord is here. Making noise and doing all the things. I have 7 more days here […]

  • Lost

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    It is 3am on a Thursday and I am awake. So many thoughts about so many things. But when I think about writing something, all I could think of was how lost I feel. I feel lost in a lot of things in life right now. I know I am moving forward and I have […]

  • Empathy for self

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    So this is the third day I am home from work. I realize that as much as I do not like being around women at my job, I love being around the children. I love the feeling of them telling me a new story, or just rambling about something that is of interest to them. […]

  • More than qualified

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    So it is early on a Friday morning. I am awake as I can not sleep. I have the washer and dryer going and I just listened to a podcast on beleiving in yourself. I again fight the battle in my mind of being good enough. I have had a hell of a week at […]