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Me, Moving, and things
Today is Friday and I am off of work. I have had a rough week. I was brought in to a meeting at work with my supervisor and a colleague. Chastised for speaking ill about a colleague. I should not have done it, I get it. But to be left wondering who I can “trust” […]

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Matter
Today I really wished I mattered to someone. Anyone. I wish that someone wanted to spend time with me. Someone arrange and excited about seeing me. Sadly, it is not happening that way. The one I want to be with does not want to just be with me. His choice. His loss. But is it […]

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Crying
Today is what it is. I feel like just crying through this day. I feel like I am just alone in this life and that no one really cares how I am or who I will be. I am 49 years old and I feel like I am 16. That lost little girl with no […]

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Saturday things and thoughts
This has been a rough week. From setting boundaries with a close friend, to lifting a screaming child, to learning about a health diagnosis about a family member. I can not. I can not wrap my mind about why life is sometimes so difficult. So I try to sleep through all the words and thoughts […]

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I did the best I could
It has been awhile since my last post. I had to take a break, it was all too much. But today my heart is so heavy and I feel so alone. Writing here makes me feel like maybe my sadness can be understood by someone else and I can know that someone else does not […]

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Strength
I was gifted this incredible strength. I believe it was from birth. I was placed in a family that developed my strength. As an adult, I have always been told I was strong. As I reflect back on that now, I can honestly say I had to be strong. Not in a victim way, but […]

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Tears this morning
I am so tired. Tired of fighting for those that should be in my life and are not there for me. Those that have gotten wrapped up in their own world and lives and have forgotten how to be whatever they are to me. They are nothing to me anymore. I am tired of chasing. […]

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3 am thoughts
I have been up since a little after 2am and the thoughts on my life are just flooding in. I have spent the last two days just sitting in who I am. I do not want to be the needy friend. I do not want to be the friend that keeps circling in life and […]

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Grandparents and extended family
Just something I saw posted on social media. I grew up not having grandparents around. My dad’s parents lived in New York and were not part of my life. Later I would find out that they never liked my mom so they just stayed away. I am sure my mother had something to do with […]

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Energy
I was on my walk this morning with my dog and I was listening to music by P!nk. I realized that my energy is what I need to tap into. Not energy like what I need to do things. But my internal energy. I was on a few dating sites and when asked what I […]
