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Author: Heidi Clara B.

  • just things

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    So I have been sick, well it was a brief bout of flu like stuff stuff. Been feeling just wiped out from it. Been in bed for days, do not want to go to work tomorrow to meet the ever finding needs of the whiny staff. By the end of the week I will have […]

  • Just numb

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    Today is a Saturday. I have less than a month of being married to a man who is a narcissist. The more I read about narcissism, the more the last 20 years of my life make sense. Not being believed, being told I am crazy. Being told I am the one with all the problems. […]

  • Hoping for

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    As a woman who is separated I have a lot of things that I am hoping for. I am hoping my husband actually would care where I am. I am hoping all of this is some big nightmare and he actually does love me. I am hoping that he would send an email actually acknowledging […]

  • Empathy

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    Today I went to a church I had been attending for many, many years. I have never felt so alone. Judged by the main pastor and left to sit in my broken heart. Left and not checked on by anyone. People who are supposed to love me. People have a skewed few of what love […]

  • Tapioca Pudding

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    The other day I was in the grocery store. To put in perspective, I used to shop all the time at the grocery store. Then I had major surgery and the thought of waiting in line and walking around in the store literally made my head hurt. So I didn’t grocery shop for a long […]

  • Lemons

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    It has been a while since I have written here. I have moved…again.. to a town where pictures of lemons are all around. I have moved into an area where I am literally right in the middle of the oldest part of town. I can see a huge lemon that was on a float many […]

  • Just numb

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    Today is another day of being home and resting my foot from the pain that happened just a few days ago. As I sit and think about what is happening with my body, I am surprised it has taken this long for it to start breaking down with all that I have had to process […]

  • sadness

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    Today there is no other word to describe how I am feeling but sadness. Sadness that I am home and not with the children. Sadness that my employer is soon to be my former employer because of actions she has taken. Sad that my marriage is over, even though it needs to be. Sad that […]

  • Changes

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    Today is a Saturday, I have been awake for quite some time. These past few months have me thinking a lot about my life. Finding out the person you gave your heart, soul, mind, and body to has been lying to you for all of your relationship can be quite a blow to anyone. Trust […]

  • Change

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    I wanted to name this writing something like, when your life just crashes in on itself or something eye catching and drastic. But that would give the concept of what I am experiencing as a negative thing. Instead, changes is more appropriate. As whatever I am headed into in my life will be a change. […]