Injured

I had quite the night. I did not sleep much. I journaled in my journal a lot last night/this morning. I have cried a lot. I have the massive headache because of it. I am injured. The thing about being injured is that it takes time to heal. It takes time to get back on your feet. I have been battling health sickness for a few weeks. I am sitting in this terrible job that is getting me to pay my bills but offers no other rewards.

I am an injured wolf, so to speak. I have been injured but with great care for myself, I will recover and be better. I will not stay down. I will stand up and dust myself off. Check for any bleeding and start to heal. I will not continue to open the wounds that are labeled on me. So many to list and think of. So many that swirled around in my brain through the night and through the day. Always something.

I still have many things to do with my life. I still have a lot of things to give to this world. I will learn to roller skate and I will enjoy it. I will see the sunsets by the ocean. I will hike the places I want to hike and explore this town I live in and have lived in all my life. I will make friends that like to do these things with me. I will become a new version of myself. I will not become a new. I will not restart. I will start with right now. I will begin right now. I will bring in all the injured parts of me and live a life that I can be happy and content in. I will walk into this life with hope and promise. Hope that I will be able to love who I am. Knowing I will love who I will become. Knowing that she is stepping forth into a new place and has so much to offer anyone that is there. Anyone that will step into my world.

This wolf has time to recover. Time to regroup. Time to start honoring herself in all that she does. Those that have walked in and out can just keep going. I am not chasing them anymore. I am not giving away the energy that I have for myself anymore. I need it to recover. I need it to grow and thrive. I will be more protective of it as I move into each day of my life. A new to me exercise plan. Really looking into what vitamins and supplements I take and why. Too much? Too little? All part of discovering what will make me my best. But today. Today I will put one foot in front of the other and walk into the newness of my life. Each day is a gift. I will not live in shame and regret anymore. I am not being watched or followed. I am sure there are rooms I am talked about in. It all does not matter to this she wolf. I can stand with who I need to and stand alone if necessary. I have done it before and I will do it again. I have much to add to this world.