It is 3am on a Thursday and I am awake. So many thoughts about so many things. But when I think about writing something, all I could think of was how lost I feel. I feel lost in a lot of things in life right now. I know I am moving forward and I have not given up hope in my future. But it is really hard to see anything right now. The lense of my life is very blurry.
Earlier this week I attended a memorial of a friend’s spouse. This friend has been my hero. She was there and stepped into a role that was absent in my life. She is my reason for writing and being able to process through written word. She saved me and my life when I needed it. To watch her go through such suffering as she lost her spouse is so incredibly hard and difficult. She gave me my life. She gave me a gift I will never be able to repay. I owe my creativity to her. I owe my fierceness and determination to her. I owe her my love to teach. So much that she would just sit back and go, yeah, it is what I do. She poured into me. She made that choice years ago. She did not need to. She did it because she beleived in me and she did it because she was an amazing teacher. I can only hope to be a fraction of a teacher she was to me. She also knew what she knew. She voiced her opinion. I need to do more of that.
Quiet Intensity 