Strength

I was gifted this incredible strength. I believe it was from birth. I was placed in a family that developed my strength. As an adult, I have always been told I was strong. As I reflect back on that now, I can honestly say I had to be strong. Not in a victim way, but as a true reflection of who I am. Deep in my soul and in my character. It was placed in me this strength. I continue to amaze myself as to what I have endured and have developed into being who I am. Who I was created to be. I will not stop being until I breathe my last breath.

I have this in me, I recognize it. My spiritual animal is a wolf, I can relate. Quiet intensity of a wolf on the hunt. Protecting their young. Protecting what and who is closest to them. Insanely loyal and protective to those in their pack. Insensity that is not measurable and non comparable. I will not back down from who I am created to be. I am a fierce and loyal friend. But I will not beg, I will not be subject to lose my fierce identity on those that will not give any effort back. I am a wolf. This strength of a wolf is like no other animal on this planet. The majestic qualities of a wolf are so unexplored. Look into a wolf eyes and you will only begin to see all that is there. Deep and inside, intense. Like no other. Strength like no other.

My name means noble. Noble and strength go hand in hand. My name also means “Battle maiden.” I will prevail over the battle, whatever it was and has been in my life and whatever it will be in my life. I will have victory over, not because I am strong but because I am determined and will be able to do it. I have it in me to fight and be a fighter. But I also have it in me to know who is fighting for me. I have God on my side and I know He will bring me through. He created me in this light, He created me with this passion. This zeal for things in life. He created me to live this life, not back down or cower like a victim. The wolf is always victorious. This wolf is always victorious. I am who I am because of what I have been through. I am not a victim. I have learned from all the ups and downs of my life. I have never been stuck or settle for less than. My inner strength won’t allow me to be there.

I must raise above it all. I will raise above it all. I will live my life for me and for the passions that have been placed in me to burn above all else. Passion for fighting for the ones who have no voice. Fighting for the ones that need to be lifted, if only for a while until they find their own wings and feet to stand on their own. I will come along side, as God did with me. I will come along side and see people through. I will be that friend. I will not settle for any less from the people in my life. They better run strong if they run with me. I will not slow down for them any longer. They will feel the push to be better, to become better. I will not stand for any less then. I am on the process of healing, but I will not stay in the same place I was yesterday or a year ago or whenever in my past. I have not failed anything in my life. I have learned from everything, good and bad and I will continue to press forward. I know that I am here for a reason and I will continue to follow my strength to withstand and be victorious because it is in my very blood and soul.

This strength was gifted to me from generations of women before me. My mother had it, my grandmother had it. I will use it in my generation to heal and will and have passed this strength to my daughters. My daughters already carry the strength that they were gifted from the moment they came into this world. I will heal generational curses in my family. It will start with me. I have been called to it and I accept the challenge of it all. I will take the steps that no one has before me to heal them all. It is my responsibility and my right as a woman. I will heal it and the curses will stop with me. I will show the future generations what strong is. Not by the victim mentality but by the victorious mentality. I will win at my life. What winning looks like to me is as unique as I am. To write out what my life will account for is not imaginable to me right now. It is personal to my soul and spirit and it is between me and my creator. Everyone’s mission or victory in life is different. We all have different sparks and different fires. I will be burning mine as bright as I can.

I will be silly and dance again. I will fall in love with me. I will be that silly little girl in a grown up body not afraid of what others think about me. I will be free to be who I was created to be. I am excited about being back with my favorite age children, and getting to play for work. I will bring the uniqueness of my eye to the classroom and will do what I love for work. I am destined to do that. My strength lies with the littlest of the little and it is a tremendous blessing and gift to be able to do it as a job and understand the full importance of trust of a young child.

I will lean my head out the window and let the air blow my hair. I will turn up the music and dance in my car, the way I did when my children were little. I will be that girl. The brave one, she is in me waiting to come out. I will love and love hard. Myself first. She is there and she is waiting for me. I will live in harmony with her and not try to keep her hidden any longer. She is waiting for me. She has been there all along and she is ready. I will live in a life where I will be celebrated, by me. I am grateful to be alive and grateful for those around me. I will be victorious and I will be strong.