Today was hard. I am still trying to process what I decided to be a part of. I have a friend who has a diagnosis of cancer. It is in her lungs and it is really rare and she is hurting a lot. Today, after not seeing her for a few years, I met some other women I used to work with and we went together to the hospital to see this joyful human being.
My memory of my friend was at a job I was at for three years. Yes, three years, proof that I can keep a job for more than a few months. I had a lot of fun at this job and met some people that will probably reenter my life for the rest of my life. This was a risk. A risk of being hurt all over again by people who never really hurt me, if I am honest. I walked away from them and probably hurt them. They may have stood by me, if I was in a place where I was willing to have friends. There is a little bit of truth from me on this fine Sunday evening.
My friend that I saw today is beautiful, she has a spirit that you do not meet everyday. She loves God and believes that He is with her in every step of her life. My fondest memory and forever memory of her was when she was standing on the playground at work. She was pregnant with her daughter and she was smiling as she rubbed her belly. It was a very sweet moment and I knew that she had struggled with fertility and it made it all the more special to me. She was glowing. She would be a great Mom, I knew it then. You could see it in her eyes and the way she loved. She loved with all of her heart. I watched her as she loved on the children at work. Always a smile. Always a happy face for the children. Special.
Her daughter is now 5 years old and she is a great mom. She loves her deeply. I have not been able to see her with her daughter in person but heard about her when she was about 1 year old. Everything I saw about her being a mom was true. She is gentle and kind and loving.
So as I entered this hospital I saw my friend, her smile lit up the room. Her hair was gone but her joy and her spirit were still very evident. I went to give her a hug and was so grateful she hugged me back. I have pushed too many away. The right people will return. I need to return to them. We sat and talked about God and what she has been through. Where she was and the pain she was in. She read a passage from a familiar book, called Jesus Calling. Some words in the book reminded her of a song. I watched as my friend pulled up the song and played it on her phone. My other friend that was there sat next to her and they sang the song together. I have never in my life seen someone so strong. So just living what life she has. She sat next to a friend who was walking this journey with her. And the friend sang along as well. Truly a gift to be in the presence of these two women and the faith they have that can move mountains. I will never forget this day.
Quiet Intensity 