date

So I went on another date yesterday. I signed up for an online dating service and this person was very compatible. We were very compatible. I had a really good time with him and felt like I had known him for a really long time. I was able to be silly and a smart ass and he just laughed with me about a lot of stuff. It was good.

We have since had another date and talk or text daily with each other. All of me wants to say I love him, but I do not want to scare him off. In the meantime, some other guy hit on me at the bay when I was there the other night. I was just there to watch the sunset. I did not bring my dog with me, I guess that means that I am available for me to hit on me. His name was simple enough and he was cute. He sat with me for while on my blanket and I kept thinking, why am I so friendly?? Am I just this hard up for love that I would let some complete stranger sit by me? I was hurt, not by him, but by the men in my past. I have to be cautious.

I must be cautious. I want to love and love fully, but not at the risk of being thrown away once again. I can not risk the hurt of that. This guy last night was just a guy, saying the right things, making me feel like I am something in this crazy rejected world. His words, his look, he knew what was the right thing to say. When I finally composed myself, I left, giving him my number and off I went. I figured he was after hooking up with someone, something I could easily do, but can not do, due to my desperateness.

Dating is a journey I never thought I would be on in this time of my life.