New person

Hello there and how are you? You ever just meet a person and realize that they are your person? I have met that person. I never thought I would again. To hear those words of “you are beautiful,” when you begged someone to say it to you for years. And it is said, without hesitation, and without having to be asked. Devotion and commitment. Something I know a lot about giving out. Nothing I know about given to me. It is all the past. The past of not feeling loved.

This new person, maybe it is because it is new. Maybe we are met to be together. I owe him the chance to get to know me. I owe him that. He owes me that as well. He can get to know me. All my little quirks. All my past, all my hurts. He can hold them for me and wrap his arms around me and keep me safe. He can and he will. I will feel safe in the arms of a man. I will feel safe. God has that for me. I believe it. He will restore my heart and bring me a man who will completely adore me. Completely adore me. I will be able to laugh and giggle and have mad love making and be all that I was supposed to be. I am going to believe in it. It will happen. In 6 months from now, I will be making a new step in my life. I will be in a new situation. I will grow and be whole. I will be in love with the man of my dreams. And I am the woman of his. I will be that person.

I will have the chance I need to be happy. Truly happy, not faking it but crying at home behind closed doors where no one can see me. I will be happy. I am on my way now. The children at work heard me and saw me running after them today. They will see more of that.

Incredible conversation with an honest, handsome man. Wow. Wow. Wow. I can not believe it is happening. I can not wait to start and continue my next chapter. Risk is scary. I can do this.