Depression

This past week has been really rough. Along with all the changes of divorce, I have come to the place where I am paying for my own insurance. So recently when I went to get my antidepressants, the pharmacy told me I would be paying 200 times as much for medicine that just months ago barely dented my bank account. I can not afford it. I have recently started therapy, something I can not really afford either but I am paying for it. I have to fix this. I do not know how much of my state of mind right now has to do with my withdrawl from the medication I am on. Or if I am just really needing to face what my life has become.

I have chosen to play victim. I am not sure why, I think it is because it is all I have ever known. I am tired, I am tired of explaining why my life is so incredibly fucking hard! I am tired of living a completely fucking hard life. My ex royally screwed me over, yup, I chose him, I have to deal with it. But I am NOT with him anymore, so why do I need to stay there. Friends vanished. Friends kicked me when I was down. Left me for dead. They were never my friends. I just can’t rely on any one person for anything. My God will bring me through.