Snow

This Christmas I woke up to a blanket of soft fresh snow on the ground. My first white Christmas. This next season of my life will be filled with firsts. First white Christmas. First Christmas being single since I was 18 years old. It is not my first Christmas alone, as I am not alone. God is always with me.

As I reflect on what a gift it is to be alive and be able to experience some “first”, I think about how my last year has been. Filled with heartache and tears and many sleepless nights. In a few days it will be a brand new year. But years and newness start when you want it to. When you feel it is time to take one step in front of the other and make it new. This is my new step, my new day. My new life.

I have dreams of being able to be in my own home, as little as it may need to be. I do not dream of a big home as the reality is I am a really bad housekeeper. I do not need things, processions are just things. As I have learned, when you have a lot, you have to move a lot. I do not want to move a truck full of junk anymore. And most of it junk. Why do I need to move golf clubs, they remind me of how I conformed to fill the need of someone else. I will not move them again. My future home may be for a lifetime or just a season, but I will do it. I will attain a place that will be a reflection of who I am and who I am going to be. I will be surrounded by things and people that will bring me joy and happiness. God will be in that place and He will be felt by all who come around.