Dreams

Most people grow up and have big dreams. Dreams of how their wedding day will be. Dreams of who and what their future spouse will look like and be like. Dreams of how many children they will have and what kind of house they will live in. Some people even dream of what kind of car is their dream car.

Hmmm. I skipped that class in school. I had one dream that I can remember. I wanted to become a veternarian. I knew working with animals would be something I would be good at. We had dogs, ducks, rabbits and fish growing up. After the divorce we ran out of food for the rabbits and mom didnt want to get any more food for them. The rabbits got out and I could only believe they escaped to the canyon behind our home. Things changed after that and my “dream” was on hold as survival became more important.

As a middle schooler I can remember listening to my two friends talk about their wedding days and what color the bridesmaid dresses would be and what their dress would look like. I never thought about a wedding, getting married or being a mom. I thought about living without being abused by my mother. And eating was another thing I thought about as sometimes there wasnt food. There was always alcohol though.

Just thinking about how so many have big dreams and that was taken from me as I had to grow up so fast. I dream of having joy filled by my God and will continue to search until I can find that deep in my soul. To be healed from past hurts and people, that is a dream.